i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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