Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize