it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
