guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
