one might say we're banned from that church
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize