I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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