he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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