I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
