Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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