i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
