that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize