She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
