Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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