She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
