You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
