I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
thus making me awesome and them whores
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
