I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
