Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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(213): I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk. http://tfl.nu/xx5w

Replies (9) Good night (4720) Bad night (758)
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(207): View more from Maine

I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

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(207): I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers http://tfl.nu/79gv

Replies (9) Good night (2951) Bad night (654)
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(417): View more from Missouri

on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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(417): on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there. http://tfl.nu/xvnw

Replies (20) Good night (720) Bad night (6675)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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(847): i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong" http://tfl.nu/catg

Replies (31) Good night (6064) Bad night (1014)
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(631): View more from New York

i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.

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(631): i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee. http://tfl.nu/3r9a

Replies (16) Good night (5072) Bad night (796)
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(972): View more from Texas

Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

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(972): Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive. http://tfl.nu/x0bv

Replies (3) Good night (3765) Bad night (870)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

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(913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady." http://tfl.nu/ftym

Replies (11) Good night (6394) Bad night (1183)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days

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(412): Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days http://tfl.nu/6wcx

Replies (9) Good night (4539) Bad night (1000)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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(610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx

Replies (5) Good night (2310) Bad night (791)
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(513): View more from Ohio

This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.

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(513): This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last. http://tfl.nu/vgx8

Replies (8) Good night (3455) Bad night (944)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

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(740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n

Replies (11) Good night (1676) Bad night (1070)
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(214): View more from Texas

MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

(214): View more from Texas

SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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(214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja

Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (505)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby

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(403): Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby http://tfl.nu/ngks

Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (458)
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(254): View more from Texas

when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.

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(254): when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view. http://tfl.nu/ibh3

Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (346)
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(858): View more from California

I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.

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(858): I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain. http://tfl.nu/q8gg

Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (291)

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