I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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