Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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  (313): lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club (810): I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds (810): Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies! http://tfl.nu/l421
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who keeps a bong in their car??

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.

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  (402): Who keeps a bong in their car?? (1-402): Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago. http://tfl.nu/uih3
  Replies (34) Good night (3771) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

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  (913): I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture http://tfl.nu/ttvt
  Replies (46) Good night (600) Bad night (2898)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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  (647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s
  Replies (13) Good night (6125) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.

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  (740): id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag. http://tfl.nu/yqo6
  Replies (72) Good night (1353) Bad night (16294)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

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  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (15) Good night (6551) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well

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  (812): Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well http://tfl.nu/2njp
  Replies (9) Good night (3682) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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  (775): At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive. http://tfl.nu/xg7u
  Replies (4) Good night (2560) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"

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  (717): He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested" http://tfl.nu/y825
  Replies (9) Good night (3104) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

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  (812): This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock http://tfl.nu/gdx6
  Replies (17) Good night (893) Bad night (4957)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him

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  (813): I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/hd5x
  Replies (23) Good night (1293) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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  (917): When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork http://tfl.nu/bkbb
  Replies (12) Good night (710) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes

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  (859): She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes http://tfl.nu/2ifp
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.

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  (214): Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon. http://tfl.nu/qoak
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...

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  (603): I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you... http://tfl.nu/8249
  Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (776)

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