you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.