It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.