Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals

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  (517): new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals http://tfl.nu/6pha
  Replies (61) Good night (5617) Bad night (1246)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes

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  (865): I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes http://tfl.nu/sup4
  Replies (8) Good night (3383) Bad night (826)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.

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  (973): He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird. http://tfl.nu/n9dq
  Replies (17) Good night (4927) Bad night (1310)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I am going to be fat forever.

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  (970): I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer. (970): I am going to be fat forever. http://tfl.nu/3hpn
  Replies (16) Good night (1560) Bad night (3319)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.

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  (734): So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot. http://tfl.nu/gct9
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (876)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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  (716): Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle? http://tfl.nu/rwr7
  Replies (17) Good night (1415) Bad night (3350)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

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  (715): So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room. http://tfl.nu/stph
  Replies (4) Good night (1719) Bad night (872)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

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  (785): Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid. http://tfl.nu/egf9
  Replies (7) Good night (2275) Bad night (881)
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  (951): View more from California

  Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?

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  (951): Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win? http://tfl.nu/8vq4
  Replies (4) Good night (1200) Bad night (591)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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  (786): If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok http://tfl.nu/pfjn
  Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (2254)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (640)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels

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  (440): My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels http://tfl.nu/oz5l
  Replies (11) Good night (528) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.

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  (410): I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life. http://tfl.nu/oenl
  Replies (2) Good night (306) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life

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  (914): nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life http://tfl.nu/b2dk
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (292)

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