I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS