i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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