when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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