when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
