Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
