The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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