I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
