I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
