My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
