he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
