See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize