ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
