At least make sure they are 18
Why
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
