none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
