Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're so nebulous sometimes
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
