ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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