I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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