my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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