So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
