i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
