just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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