you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Pooping to opera.
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