So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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