I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I AM VODKA MAN
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
