all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
