also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
