I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
