Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
