so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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