Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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