Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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