Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
