I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
