I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize