I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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