This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
