Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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