I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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