someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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