Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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