Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize