im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
