Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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