I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
