this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I see more hoeing in ur future
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