Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
