Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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