At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
