Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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